十二月 二零一六年

圣诞的气息 来得如此温馨

仿佛一切的争议和嫉恨 全然消失

大家来庆祝一番 难得的安宁

我 二十二岁的时光 快逝去了

又准备再大一岁了

才发现 

原来 越长大 失去的越多

剩下的 只有缠绵的血缘 和 不离不弃的知己

感觉什么都没有了 却觉得其实拥有很多

真奇迹 这样的我 还有机会生存下去

很庆幸 很感恩

所有人的守护和关爱

能够让我 继续 单纯 天真 无知

谢谢你们 守护了我的天真

也感恩神明 让我有机会 不离不弃

真希望有一天

我能够有这个能力

把世间一切是非烦恼

化为美丽无比的景色

让人 心生欢喜 

渐而忘却烦恼

What have I contribute to the world ? 

The day has came

I can't believe 

That I left the place 

Like so fast.... 

My first job, my first resign letter 

Indeed is a good experience for me 

Who never ever get involve in any company 

I'm so glad to meet all of them 

No matter my colleagues, my seniors, and even my boss

They let me grow 

One thing I have learnt 

No matter how bad a person is 

Or how good a person would be 

They have two phases 

Just we could see which one first 

No one is perfect 

But love can overcome all imperfect 

No one love to be a bad guy 

They have their own story behind 

Everyone got their true beauty in their heart 

We just choose to follow or not to 

Honestly 

I miss them so much 

It was like a dream 

Like never live with them before

Never ever joke, chat, work, play, laugh, scrol around..... With them

It's telling me like.. It's time to awake 

Finally the feast has came to an end 

When could we meet again 

I hate them before 

I had been hurt so much before 

Just never thought of 

I will miss the moment 

In the end 

Wish our last memory before we left

Our last relationship would be best friends

新一代M家族 ！

冲上云霄？哈哈…

看得出剧情吗？😆😁😁

元老们～

可爱的大元老和小徒孙。。。

毕业的状元们… 哈哈

Ahem... 

再来一个正经的大合照～ 😁😁😁

顿时觉得… 

我是时候该长大了 😅

三年三天

我… 毕业了。

三年 和 三天

过得不留一物

却留下了许多回忆

笑 与 哭

甜 与 酸

就这样一瞬间

都过去了

打从三年前

…

还记得，我与mac tan讨论的ID课程，把我带进来了equator。

第一天上课

认识了恩义，美金，美琳…

一起陪我经历了三年以来最快乐的时光…

我永远都不会忘记你们

谢谢你们

进入了ID，

芷薇，欣惠，恒毅，政辁…

陪着我，

和你们一起做朋友

我真的很珍惜

我知道很多时候

我都没有顾虑到你们的感受

是我忽略了

对不起…

过后不久

我认识了世杰

没想到他就是我这20年来

第一个最亲密的男生

跟他在一起

我看到了我看不到的风景

体会到了一直以来 没有体会过的事情

谢谢你 把我带进你的生命

让我看到你的一切

你常常会问我

为什么我会喜欢你这个没钱没样的人

我很想告诉你

你比任何一个男生来得更加好

你是我心目中最爱的那个

那些算什么

最重要是

你对我的心

不变

还有，因为世杰

我认识了匡衡

虽然我们似乎有很多很多误会

但是 你还是我最好的朋友

没有你

我相信我是最孤独的

谢谢你一直以来的相陪

你在我心目中已经占据了一个位置

你像是我的一面镜子

是我的贵人

一个女菩萨

姜妮

虽然然你和我是两个世界的人

但是你宽阔的心

容得下我这个所谓“gia shu" 和 “乖僻”的人

我真的很感恩你愿意跟我做朋友

还一起经历了三个月的实习

谢谢你

赤道艺术学院

是一个让我成长很多的地方

从一个单纯的小女孩

变成一个完整的我

在SRC，pure lotus，ID CLUB，毕业筹委…

让我学会了融入社会 包容社会

做事做人的道理 主见与自信

凡事不能看表面

防人之心不可无

… 

除了这些

它还帮助我实现8岁时的梦想

真正成为一个室内设计师

我做到了！

在我21岁这一年

我真的做到了

未来还有更多挑战

工作，家庭，爱情，友情，设交…

管敏莉，keep fighting！

Byebye 2014

这么快… 

2014 年就要结束了… 

无论如何，总结一下今年所干的事吧！

 

· 终于学会游泳了

· 拍了毕业照，准备毕业了

· 如愿吃了Tao和yea buffet

· 第一次受宠若惊的生日惊喜

· 第一次的prom night, 和长裙

· 终于驾在槟城大桥上了

· 完成了和同班同学去旅行心愿，开心

· 美因槟榔与老婆的约会

· 有笑有泪的实习，难忘；怀念… 

谢谢你达拎，没有你，我的人生仅此而已…

2014年算是值得反思的一年吧

反思亲情，友情

事业，自己

今年我做错了很多事

在各个方面我都做得不够好

 太多太多事情，因我而起，

好累，我也不想讲了…

希望我在2015年，大家可以好过一点吧

明年就毕业咯

加油吧！

以前错过的很多，但愿现时还来得及补偿。

Listening to the music CD that you gave me,

A soundly night

only the music surrounding the area,

just realising how's the feeling rise at the midnight

and hard to find any description to define

you should know it right? haha…

Once i want to be a copycat,

kept writing the same sentence…

you should be understand…. 

也许不知不觉

已经埋怨了许久。

我好累喔…

你，带给了我很多快乐，

却侠夹了不少悲伤。

太贪心的我不懂得感恩，

只会望着坏的一面，

不停的埋怨。

我好笨

去因为一些外面的事情

来影响我们。

我 知道你一直都不明白

你到底做错了什么

你与其他人不一样，

王者的风范，罕见的思维，稳固的坚持，日理万机…

也许，你需要的是一个能够母仪天下的女人

在后宫中帮你处理家事，

对你百般谅解，信任。

我一直以为我可以做的到，

可是，当我看到恒毅和他女友；有钱和他女人，

我好羡慕他们，

能够一直守在女友身边。

看着忙碌的你，看着你去关心那么多人，

我劝自己，做人要大气。

怎知到最后，原来我是如此渺小。

有太多事情，收在心里，久而久之，就会变质，造成现在的我，如此冷漠。

对不起，我忘了有什么例子，造成了这些问题。

你应该知道我的，坏的事情，我是不会记得的。

我只知道，你都不是故意的。

而我可以告诉你，我变成这样，我也真的不是故意的。

我恨讨厌这样的自己，相信你也忍受我有好一段时间了吧。

母仪天下，我无能为力；

贤惠大方，我会尽力；

真面开朗，我会日月累积；

还有我不喜欢被关在家里…

这样的我，

你还能接受吗？

时间，

让它辉煌，

到最后，

也凸显了它残旧的一面。

听人说，这世上，

没有永远的贫乏，

也没有永远的灿烂人生。

就像坐在列车上，

人来人往，

美丽景色，

望着城市的石灰楼，

却想念乡野景色；

经过乡镇，

又像起了城市的繁荣。

我们都常常忘记了，

当下的幸福。

回到外婆家，

想起这16年来的农历新年，

都是在外婆家度过的。

还记得，

每一年一大桶的荔枝冰水，

吃饭轮不完的圆桌子，

外婆的炒菜声，

妈妈四兄妹的大声聊话，

很多亲戚挤在一起的小沙发，

还有窗外吹来的凉风。

而现在，

那挂在厨房里，

经常装荔枝的杯子已布满尘埃，

锅子，火炉，还有灶神台，也不例外。

该拿走的，都拿走了。

只剩外婆，昏昏迷迷地睡在小沙发上，

不认得人。

也很少人回来看她。

我向着窗外，凉风依然，却美景不再，心里一阵心酸。

It's new year!

终于到2014年啦

管米粒该长大了

二十岁可不是当好听的说

劝自己的话也听多啦

不如说一说2013年的最夯事件吧

⭐️ 终于拿到certificate of fundamental 啦😁

⭐️ 有机会在文化遗产日当了一日古人😎

⭐️ 完成了槟城壁画脚车一日游😜❤️

⭐️ 终于烫直了头发💁☺️

⭐️ 去过槟城escape经历难忘的挑战😖😱

⭐️ 经历过难忘的生日💌🎂

⭐️ 第一次穿成人泳衣游泳👙

⭐️ 去了两次KL, 第一次坐LRT和火车😫

⭐️ 参与协助净莲慈善摄影比赛👴👵

⭐️ 去过已关闭的马六甲苏丹街😋🍗🍤🍡

在2013的最后一个夜晚，终于有机会countdown和看烟花了！感谢你给我这个机会，和你度过了一个灿烂的夜晚，一个甜蜜的2013 ❤️

2014年将会是一个充满挑展的一年，希望大家可以一起努力，在这新的365页日记，留下深刻的生命痕迹。

知足常乐

Silent

defeated ?
admit all the weakness and continue stubborn?
insisting I'm the right?
this is not the end yet
do you want to continue like this for your whole life?
no confident, no improvement.
no social skill, can't live in society.
no concentration, no success.
but this all are now useless for me
all i need is determination
and dare to dream
and get what i want
i was listening to others for too long
when could i get my voice
and put all my effort to get what i want?
now,
i have forgot what i dreamt,
what i wanna be
what i wanna get
and even shopping, i also dunno what i want
i see the price before i desire to get the thing
so now i become
don't get the thing if i dun have these ability.
but why don't i put my real effort to get what i want?
instead of giving up?
i can dreamt to get more money
to get the comfort that i want
hmmm….
although i always tell myself to be a real me
but it turn to another way always
hmmm…. repeating one thing is tired
when can i stop listening to others?
and insist to be me?




too long,
i have never desire anything
life is empty without dream
heart is breathing but never alive
now I'm only like a dice
let others to decide my life

I don't want to be emo anymore.

But... What is the reason for me to smile?

I always look down myself before anyone.

I must believe that everything I own are very precious.

But it always end up when I enlarge my small mistakes.

I hate it, truly.

When friends were not around, 

I looks so small and mean nothing.

If one day I get invisible,

I hope I could live into others life without getting their attention.

Maybe this is me.

Who always hide from others attention when living with them.

I feel calm and satisfy every time in this situation. 

I like it, sincerely.

I know you are in a very exhausted situation,

I might can't imagine how is your tiredness.

Not even go through a little of it.

I'm speechless 

What I could do is just listen to you.

I know you are having a lot of struggle in ur current life,

You are lost and lossing confident,

When I am telling u: you can make it!

Looks like you will become even stress.

But.... It is just what I could say.

To help you to get back yourself.

Sorry that I m not a good comforter and motivator.

Maybe thousand of quotes or advices you have been bored with.

All you need is more psychological supports and a way of out your struggle with belief. Am I right? 

Hmmmmm.....

What I want to tell is 

I will support you!!

Although it might can't help much 

Just hope it could be a little bit of your motivation and support. 

So wish you could find your own way and 

Don't fear of any challenges and difficulties

You know you have all lots of people support you behind

Your mum, little bro, your bros, your friends and even our classmates! 

I know they will stand for you no matter what. 

Hmmmmm....

Finally...

Jia you ba! 

'Face any problem with a sincerely heart'

(Learnt from tv)

You always say u r 'shen' right? 

So You can make it..!

^.^

Every time when I listen to their songs, it always make me melting and forget all my stubborn thinking at the moment. Just sit down and play their songs in earphone, it is always a relief! 

S.H.E is my idol forever! <3 :D

An evil hidden inside my soul

Such a long time

And today 

It finally appears

All my bad things 

That I did before 

All these reminded me that I am a bad person

I just pretend to be a good person 

Pretend for too long

Can't regconised myself

My hates.... To everyone who hurts me before 

I hate ! 

No one will believe the faker like me

No one....

A faker who don't about herself 

A faker who want to take everyone good response

But it doesn't sincere

No one will feel your pretending good

It is an evil hidden

An evil contents with an angel cover

Evil mandy 

Just left the last assignment,

In these days,

Those unsatisfactory or satisfactory,

It is not important anymore...

I'm so tired,

To see my recent weak performance,

It is my weakest sem ever.

But I have no regret that I m already tried my best.

I just lack of time management which I never face before.

I thought I'm good enough,

But now I only know that,

I m not really good, 

Most of the time, if others choose to get harder they are much better than me.

I'm just an idiot who serious all the time. 

The level of outcome don't really improve.

Hmmmm..... 

I have no free time in this sem break,

A break without personal time.

Continue to be a weaker, steamer.....

It is even tired,

When looking them so happy talking with each other,

I can't do anything...

When is the ending of sadness?

I have to change my personal thinking to get happier,

He is so unlucky to have a gf as his classmate, 

So he couldn't play hard and work hard....

I do not mean anything... 

Just express it.

It's late night, 

Feeling so empty in my stomach ,

Watching tv with my mum... Haha

Hmmm... Head blank

Without any quote, any advice to myself...

A night which is simple

Haha...

Sometimes don't think too much is good~ 

Life goes on.

No matter how many rocks are throwing to you,

No matter how many things you need to bear with,

No matter how many fears occur,

No matter how many things you've been lost,

Others' words hard to change you,

Only you can change yourself.

A lot of things happened recently,

Those who have been hurting me, 

I will try to forgive.

But I still need some time.

Finally learnt to look through them deeply.

Is that funny? 

I laugh like fake,

It is truly ridiculous,

I used to be a fake laughter,

Forgotten me.

This is not only my own life.

I'm not emo

The new term is beginning,
Today,
I've received my very previous outwork.
In that time, i really looks smart.
But now, when I looking back to my work before,
I can feel that I'm moving back from the hardworking me.
Now, I become lazy, can't concentrate, losing confidence and
lack of time management.
I've used to live with 'homework' for my past 18 years.
haha...
And now, I'm trying to not listen to my lecturer.
Don't finish the complete one.
I really feel unease with it.
Should I follow other classmates,
or actually i could effect them to follow me?
I do not mean to use all the time for homework,
the problem is just complete some of it by the time?
I don't like to become a good student,
selfish student,
top student...
who is noob enough and always listen to teachers.
I.. just wish to do what I should do.
I just wish to have a normal and complete schooling life.
Just that simple.